12.16.2008

You love me, you really love me!! (and other notes)

Well, it seems that my BFF, Lu, hearts my poor, neglected blog.

I swore that when I started this, I was going to make a point to write at least 4 times a week. This award has prompted me to soldier on and make my blog more than it currently is. So, Lu, my blog thanks you!!

Onto the rules....as I understand it, I'm supposed to post the award to this blog. Here it is!


I am then to acknowledge how fabulous the bestower of the award is....and really, what can I say about Lu! She's known me forever and still likes me. She's a wonderful friend, mother and the strongest woman I know. I admire and love her and even though I don't get to see or talk to her as much as I'd like, I know we'll always be close!

Next, I believe I'm supposed to pass this award onto 7 of my blog friends. I'm going to beg of the committee that they allow me sometime in completing this task. I only have 3 bloggy friends and all of them have had the award within the past several weeks. As I make some new friends, I'll pass along the award with pride!

Finally! I have some holiday eating tips that crack me up. I got these from the following link and let me just say, I like the way this lady thinks!

http://www.innocentmind.myhostforlife.com/cholidaytips.htm

Holiday Eating Tips
I hate some things about this time of year. Not the crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.
You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts...eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.
Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot is something you leave for Rudolph.
I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway. Enjoy the tips!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


And remember this motto to live by:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

Yay! You're back!!

Number 2 is my fave...it's what I tell myself when ever I down some nog!

Jennifer said...

Yep...love the nog. My dairy issues prevent me from drinking as much of it as I'd like.